It's 24 year old you. How're you coping? Stressed out from studying for your junior cert? I thought so. It's a tough year for you. Couple of weeks now you will get that long awaited heart operation. About time, right? But don't stress, it will all be fine. And the junior cert? You'll fly it, trust me I know. But this is the year everything starts to change. That darkness you're feeling inside right now, it's creeping in a little bit more each day. Sleepless nights will start soon too. Don't try and fight it, there's no point. Being a 15 year old girl is tough but trust me, that's not the problem. Just remember I said that.
You're already waking up every morning and wishing the rest of your life away. But please don't. That metal object in your hand? Yeah that one, put it down. It might feel like it's helping but trust me, it's not. You are so much stronger than you think. I promise you that.
Boys? You are going to meet a couple along the way. But don't cry because it ended, smile because it happened. Think of every experience as a lesson. You'll get through it. And don't worry you'll meet the right one. He may be a lot closer than you think.
I wish I could say the next nine years of your life are going to be easy, but they aren't. The next 5 years will be tough but you need to ask for help. Don't be afraid or ashamed. It's okay not feel okay, I promise. But once you get passed that, life will start to seem a bit brighter. You are going to face some very dark days, but look, I'm 24 now and still here.
There's going to be some ups and downs in your twenties but you have now, and will have such fantastic people around you. Just don't forget about them.
Appreciate people more. Because trust me, I always thought the ones we love the most will be around forever, but they won't. That person who you tell all your secrets to, appreciate that person and show them how much you love and care about them each day. Promise me you will? Promise me you will live everyday likes its your last? Life is too precious and too short. Unfortunately you will learn this the hard way. You are so strong and you don't even know it yet. But you will!
Writing this letter to you and thinking back over the last 9 years of our life, I'm really proud of you. And I probably don't give you enough credit. You are going to go through so much and you will take it head on. But believe me, it will all be worth it. You do have a reason to be here, even though now you think you don't. Just remember, I'm 24 now and I'm still here. Still fighting.
Don't give up!
Love, sincerely me
X
